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The way I walk to work you get a lot of Police on horses. Now, that’s fine, but if you’re anything like me, you can occasionally forget just how absolutely massive horses are. Now, I don’t see a lot of horses, but I know they’ve been there, because there’s always huge mounds of horse shit all the way down the road.

Now can someone explain this to me:
How come, when my Labrador, who is only a puppy, he’s tiny, shits in the street, I have to pick it up and put it in the bin or risk paying a £50 on the spot fine? But when a Policeman on a horse comes along, the rules change? You know what I was saying about how big horses are? How come they don’t have to clean it up?

And they always choose to do it right at traffic lights or where you want to walk, never at the side of the road or anything, always on the foot path or at the pedestrian crossing.

I want to see Policemen carrying Bin Bags and Shovels from now on, or I’m going to start going enforcing my own fines.

“My dogs turd weighs one ounce. That’s a £50 fine. Your horse’s turd weighs two stone. That’s 448 ounces. That’s a £22,400 fine, my friend. Get scooping.”

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